Oya everybody! It’s raaaaaaaaaining. I like rain. You know what else I like? Characters.
(smoothest transition ever)
Specifically, my characters. Even more specifically, Lucas.
You guys remember Lucas, right? From like my second blog post when I outlined my main WIPs? The sensible, logical, perfect, adorable little bean who is definitely NOT a main character.
Lucas: Did you just call me Bean?
Wait, what?? Lucas! Hi! How did you get here?
Lucas: No idea. Did you call me Bean?
Well, I called you a bean. Don’t worry, I’m not confusing you with your pupper.
Lucas: -squints- Okaaaaaay . . . so . . . you’re talking about me?
Yeah, I thought I’d introduce you to all the people.
Lucas: Oh. Hi, people.
Do you want to, like, tell them about yourself?
Lucas: Not particularly. Doesn’t the narrator do that?
Yes, but they haven’t read the book yet. Go on, it’s okay.
Lucas: -sigh- Okay, fine. Hi I’m Lucas, and I’m fourteen, and . . . I don’t know, I’ve two sisters? Nora and Zella. Do they want to hear about Zella?
I’d say so, yes. Just try not to spoil anything.
Lucas: . . . . right. Um . . . well once upon a time my mom was expecting her first baby, and she really wanted this specific kind of lettuce. No idea why she would, it’s nasty, but whatever. So dad went to ask this witch for some, cause she was the only one around who had any, and some stuff happened and basically she tricked him and took the baby when she was born. The witch named her Rapunzel and kept her in this magical tower. So yeah we could visit her by using beanstalks and eventually we figured out that a prince could get her out, so I went to find one and . . . yeah.
So you set out on your first adventure!
Lucas: Only adventure. I’m not doing it again.
Oh, yeah, sure there’s -cough cough- totally not going to be a sequel -cough- So after a bit you met Laynie.
Lucas: Oh, yeah, and I got punched in the face.
Yes that. But Laynie. How about you tell the readers a bit about her?
Lucas: Um . . . well . . . she’s my age. She has swords. Scimitars, actually. This is awkward . . .
Laynie: What’s awkward?
Oh, both of you are here now?
Laynie: Oooh what’s this? It looks cool.
Lucas: It’s a blog. Author’s talking to people about us.
Laynie: People? Oh, I see ’em. What are they doing here?
Lucas: I don’t know!
Guys, focus. Laynie, now you’re here, you can introduce yourself. Just . . . try not to spoil anything.
Laynie: Oh. Um . . . I’m Elayna.
. . . . and?
Laynie: I don’t know what else you want me to say!
Lucas: I said some stuff.
Laynie: Nobody asked you.
Hey. Watch it.
Laynie: You watch it. I’m thinking we start another rebellion. Or a mutiny.
Lucas: Another one? Not again . . .
Laynie: Why do we care about spoilers anyway?
Because if you tell the people what happens in the book, they won’t want to read it.
Lucas: When will they read it? Isn’t it done?
Well . . . yes, but actually no. I have to edit. I left a lot of things out the first time through, since I had to write it so fast.
Laynie: Oh, yeah, you have to make sure you keep everything in. You can’t leave out that one bit where Lucas was using a bow but he got close enough to that guy to get punch-
Lucas: No she’s leaving that out.
I, uh, I didn’t leave that out.
Lucas: What!? Come on!
I couldn’t! It’s an important part of the story. Anyway, moving on, can you guys please–
Laynie: Hey I have a question. How come Lucas gets to tell the story? I could tell it better.
Ughhhhhh it’s his story, Layn, he has to tell it.
Laynie: He’s just your favorite.
Lucas: -smug little smirk-
That’s beside the point.
Laynie: What point? Was there a point to this?
The point was meant to be introducing the people to the book so they’d want to read it!
Lucas: Wow, great going Laynie, now nobody’s going to read the book.
Laynie: Excuse me?!
This has gone so horribly wrong . . .
Lucas: To be fair, this is pretty much what happens in like a third of the book. You know, between the mermaids and the dead princesses and the dragons and giant mutant wolves and fairies.
Laynie: Oh, and the freaky cannibal witch. Don’t forget her.
Lucas: I don’t think I ever will . . .-shiver-
Laynie: Yeah, when we weren’t arguing it was a great adventure.
Lucas: Yeah, if you like adventures.
Laynie: You like ’em, you know you do.
Lucas: I liked it afterwards, once I could walk again. And everything was a happily ever after.
Laynie: Those are pretty nice. Wait . . . . did she . . .?
Lucas: She distracted us!
Hey, you guys distracted yourselves! I just watched. That was pretty adorable, by the way.
Lucas: If you use that word one more time I’m quitting.
Okay, okay, fine. I won’t say anything else about how adorable-
Lucas: THATS’S IT, I’M OUT.
Laynie: Yep bye, have fun with your blog.
And . . . they’re gone. That was . . . that was interesting.
Anyway, thank you for reading this mess if you’ve read this far. How has your week been? Mine’s been pretty chaotic, but then again that’s just how my life is. I haven’t gotten any writing done since this whole mess started, but I have gotten some outlining and such worked on at least. Have you gotten anything done with all this extra time? If you have, tell me in the comments! If you haven’t, you can tell me that too. And you can tell me if you liked this interview/introduction/thingy. I have lots more characters, and if this was fun I can do lots more interviews.
So, yeah! Subscribe if you haven’t and you’d like to keep reading this fun disaster of mine. See you next week!